After a breakup men can find themselves going through phases of being unsure as to whether or not they should get back with their ex. Its a horrible dilemma, on the one hand you and your ex girlfriend have known each other for a long time and shared many great memories together and you dont want to throw all that away. On the other hand, however, your relationship with her failed before and this means there was problems. So is it worthwhile trying to fix all the previous problems or is it best just to start over with another woman?
Before you make your decision its important for you to be clear on what you want. Now is not the time to let your emotions lead you as this decision will hugely affect your life.
There are just two things you need consider to make a decision about whether you should get back with your ex girlfriend or just move on:
#1 Did either of you cheat?
This is extremely important. If neither of you cheated then thats great, you can skip ahead to item number 2. I have a rule about cheating - once a cheat always a cheat. If she cheated on you and you take her back then dont be surprised if she does it again. Some people, women included, have a propensity to cheat. There is not a lot you can do about that. Some women will cheat if they are very unhappy in their relationship, some will cheat if the opportunity simply arises and some will never cheat. My advice is if she cheated then you should start looking for a higher quality, more trustworthy girlfriend.
If you cheated then you need figure out why? Was it a drunken mistake or an on going thing. If you truly cared about her and you had a good relationship then I doubt you would of cheated. If you really are, in your heart of hearts, sorry for what you did then perhaps she can see past that but its a huge up hill struggle because their will be severe trust issues.
#2 Do you want her back because you love her or just to heal your pain?
The reason you are asking Should I get back with my ex girlfriend or move on? is because their is conflict inside you on what you really want. Perhaps you are just looking to heal your pain of being dumped by getting her back or perhaps you feel like getting her back will help you reclaim your identity or maybe, just maybe, you do really love her.
Take time to make this decision. You should be going through the 30 day no contact rule to help you focus on what you really want from life. If you decide she is the love of your life and you want her back then your decision is already made and there will be no dilemma. At this stage you just need an effective strategy to win her back.
Dont get back with her just to make yourself feel better, its a short time fix that will just leave BOTH of you more wounded in the end.
The most important thing for you to do now is take your time, this is a life changing decision. Remember if either of you cheated then you should move on with your life especially if she cheated.
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