Are They Still Interested

It’s so easy to know when you are happy in a relationship. But where does the line begin to blur between getting comfortable with one another and getting bored? Sometimes it’s hard for one person involved to catch the difference. Where you may be content in the relaxed stage of your relationship, your partner could be getting bored without you even noticing.

Don’t let your relationship fall under because your partner has lost interest. If you let it go too long unnoticed, then your partner is likely to lose interest completely. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you do after that breaking point. This just means that you need to catch it early on to prevent them from leaving you in the future. 

Now, when people say you need to keep things interesting, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to defy all norms and live on the edge every minute of every day. All it means is that you need to pick up the slack of dropping the flash and passion in the comfort stages. Don’t let yourself go just because you’re confident they won’t leave you.

Do they still care? Discover the TELL TALE clues your ex leaves that says you still have a special place in their heart…and I don’t care what they say… This is all you need to look for PERIOD!

A good way of showing that you still care about yourself and how they think of you is by keeping up appearances. The bait and switch is the least attractive dating tactic. Listen to them when they ask you to keep up with personal hygiene. Do up your hair every now and then, or put on just a little bit of make-up day to day.

The demands of appearance may seem shallow, but that is what initially draws people to each other. If you change your whole look by abandoning the desire to please your significant other or draw them in, they won’t feel as if they are even with the same person they fell for. They’ll feel deceived and trapped. It creates a lot of bitterness and resentment on their behalf because the whole relationship can seem like a lie from simply letting yourself go.

Looks aside, a lot of people also desert the romance when the relationship “dies down.” You can help to bring some of that passion back by simple romantic gestures. If there was anything you used to do, return to it again every now and then. If there’s something that they’ve always wanted to do with you, give it a go. It really helps to keep things interesting by trying new things. Go off of what they liked before and what they’ve been thinking about these days. See if you can mix and match some ideas.

Don’t let your partner slip away from you. It’s not that they don’t love you; it’s just that they feel as though you don’t care about them as much anymore. The best way to show your love is to listen to them, tell them what you want and like, and then compromise. Since the two of you are still together, there is still hope to reignite any dead passion.

Going through a break up is heart wrenching, especially so if its someone youve really grown to care about. If youre going through a break up and scrambling to do everything you can to save your failing relationship dont fret because its not over yet. The truth is that most relationships can be saved despite the reasons and despite the odds. No matter how bad it looks for you right now there are things you can do and learn that will help you overcome your current issues.

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NLP Can Allow You To Achieve Anything You Desire

By George Hutton

Have you ever heard of NLP? This has often been called the greatest communication system that has ever been developed. If youve never heard of it, it is a collection of powerful tools that can be used in almost any situation, to create almost any outcome youd like.

What is NLP, and where did it come from? Most people will tell you that NLP is the model of excellence. And the first few people whose "excellence" was modeled were therapists, and so NLPs first pass at modeling "excellence" was modeling excellent communicators.

One of the first people they modeled with NLP was Dr. Milton Erickson. He had created his own from of hypnosis. Instead of sitting you down in a chair and waving a watch in front of you and trying to convince you that your eyes were getting heavier and heavier, he had a different method. He would tell you these stories and metaphors that didnt make a whole lot of sense, but somehow they would solve all your problems.

Just from this one genius, a model of communication that is known as the Milton Model was created. This is likely the most persuasive and influential strategy that you can learn. Politicians and the best salespeople today use this model, either knowingly or unknowingly. If you search online for the Milton Model, youll find an abundance of free information to get you started.

Another way to describe NLP is an objective description of the human experience. When you see most counselors, if you have any kind of problem, they will try and figure out why you have a certain problem. Mommy was mean to you, etc. But in NLP, they simply ask how you have the problem, and then change your thinking around slightly and get rid of it without worrying about the why.

What is arguably the greatest application of NLP is modeling itself. Just like they modeled Milton Erickson and other great communicators, you can use NLP to model whoever you want, to learn any skill you want. The skys the limit. Musicians, artists, architects, any skill you want, you can model the best in the world with NLP, and learn exactly how to get your skills to their level. - 31368

About the Author:

If you want to discover the most powerful Dating Techniques, have a look at George Huttons NLP Covert Persuasion page.

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Romantic and Creative Family Beach Vacations

By Charles Vaughn

While you are planning your creative family beach vacations you should not forget the romantic element. The creative aspect can always include a little "creative romance" now cant it? In this article we will outline some ways in which you can have "creatively" romantic beach vacations.

Idea #01 - Pack a special picnic lunch and pick a favorite spot on the beach to share it with your special loved one. Dont forget to pack some of those special treats you enjoy so much.

Tip #02 - Rent the Honeymoon Suite. Who says you have to stay at a "same ole, same ole" hotel room. Who says that the honeymoon suite is only for those on a honeymoon? The new surroundings might spice your relationship up a bit.

Idea #03 - Get the Front Desk Involved. They know the area very well, and are up on those special local attractions and places to eat. They would love to work on this little "romantic" project for you.

04 - Instead of one person always planning things, why not switch? One day you can plan a special romantic date, and the next day, its your partners turn.

05 - Be sure to give lots of compliments to each other. All too often we take each other for granted, and we all love to hear nice things. Be sure to add a few compliments here and there to make your beach vacation romantic.

Idea #06 - Room Service is a Treat. For a few bucks more, you can have your meals delivered to you in your room. Why not share breakfast in bed? How about a nice evening meal while you watch the "late show"?

Idea #07 - Exchange love letters. We all love to get letters, and LOVE to get love letters. Think of nice things and thoughts and express them on the written page.

Tip #08 - Count the Stars. Walk down to the beach one evening, lie on your backs, and count the stars together. Dont forget that special bottle of wine.

Tip #09 - A Beach Stroll. Nothing is as refreshing as a stroll along the beach in the morning. You can plan your romantic breakfast together while you stroll along.

Idea #10 - Go to your local department or hardware store and wander over to the sign section. Pick up a "Do Not Disturb" sign, and take it to the beach. Be sure to use it...enough said...

11 - Buy a special bottle of wine or champagne. A little bubbly can go a long way. You can keep it cool in your rooms mini-bar...if it has one. If not, ice is usually down the hall...

Idea #12 - Go Window Shopping Together. Make note of what your partner likes or enjoys. Double-back later that evening to pick it up, and surprise them with it before you both "nod off to sleep".

Do you think you will be able to use any of these ideas? We have other ideas at our creative family beach vacations web site if you are interested? Why not navigate over and check our web site out? - 31368

About the Author:

Want to find out more about Creative Family Beach Vacations, then visit Charles Vaughns site on beach activities your whole family will enjoy.

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More Compatability Issues In a Romantic Relationship II

A break up is a devastating and heart wrenching experience. If you are going through a break up realize that you are not alone and that there is still hope. Youre probably unable to take your mind of off your ex and are doing everything you possibly can to try and save your relationship from permanent dissolution. The thing is your relationship can probably be saved no matter how bad it looks right now and now matter what the reasons are for the break up. Keep a positive attitude and keep trying and youll probably find that your ex still feels the same way about you.

Communication

Sarah was a talker and Paul was a doer.  Where Sarah started any number of conversations with “I want to talk to you about…” Paul would rather express his feelings for Sarah by taking her out to dinner or buying her a bouquet of flowers. 

One of the big problems in their relationship was that Sarah said “you’re not listening to me” while Paul said “you don’t appreciate the things I do for you.”

This is a classic case of having different communication compatibilities.  Because they express their love differently, Sarah and Paul are in trouble.

This doesn’t mean that their relationship is doomed though.  They have to be open to the idea that they communicate differently.

Sarah may need to get her verbal communication needs met with her female friends rather than her boyfriend.  Paul needs to listen more when Sarah talks.  Sarah needs to appreciate that the way Paul communicates is to take her to dinner or fix her toilet. 

Women tend to be more loquacious than men in general.  It is common for communications compatibility to be an issue in relationships.  Fortunately, this is an issue where “let’s talk” can really solve the problem.

Sex

Sex is an issue in many relationships.  Some people are more adventurous than others.  Others want sex frequently while their partners are satisfied with making love less. 

You should know that mastery of technique is one of the least important facets in a satisfying sex life.  If you are able to communicate your desires to your partner, you can learn and grow together.

But, if you have fundamental differences in your approach to sex, there may be problems.

Jodi and Tom got together and at first, their passion was white hot.  Or so Tom thought.  But, after a few months, it became clear that Jodi was indulging Tom when she didn’t really want to make love every night.

Tom was confused because he felt that Jodi had led him on to secure the relationship and was now changing the terms.  Jodi felt that she was settling down into a more “normal” sex life.

Through relationship counseling, Tom and Jodi were able to discuss their needs and desires. 

Life Habits

So many things get ignored at the beginning of a relationship.  A woman might not care that her new boyfriend doesn’t ever wash his car because she’s swept off her feet by him.  A man might not be concerned that his new girlfriend seems to spend more time at the beauty salon than she does in her own living room.

But soon these life habits become apparent and can cause friction in a relationship.

Jim believed that “early to bed and early to rise made a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”  On Saturday mornings, he was out of bed at 6:30 for a run in the park.  When he got back around 8:00 a.m., he wanted to have a big breakfast and start the day.

Julia, was not ready to face the weekend so early in the morning.  Saturday was the one day she could catch up on her sleep and she valued her time in bed.

Eventually, Jim joined a men’s Bible study on Saturdays so he felt that the morning wasn’t wasted and Julia agreed to be up by 10:00 when he got back so they could spend the rest of the day together.

But compromising on these life habits issues isn’t always so simple.  Sometimes, they’re deal breakers.  There’s only so much you can bend before you break.

Take a look at this great video advice for more tips on getting your ex back!

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More Compatability Issues In a Romantic Relationship

If youve found your way here then probably either you or someone you know is going through a tough break up. I know things look bad now but the last word hasnt been spoken yet. Even if you think your break up is final if youre determined to get back together then you really can do it. Many relationships that go through a break up end up getting back together. It may sound hard to believe but just because youve broken up doesnt mean that your relationship is over for good.

Work

Pamela had worked hard to break through every glass ceiling in her career.  She had been the only female Ph.D. candidate in physics in her class.  She had initially found it difficult to land a tenure track position because many faculty members believed that scientific research was incompatible with the “mommy track.”

Eventually, she proved her ilk as a science professor and became head of the department at a major research university.  From there, she had become dean of the School of Natural Science.

A promotion to Vice President of Academic Affairs at a university across the country followed.  That’s where she met Tim.

Tim was a psychologist.  He had given a presentation at the university on stress management that Pamela attended.  Intrigued by his ideas, she invited him to lunch.

She found that he had very different perspectives about work than she did.  For instance, he put in eight or nine hours a day but didn’t work weekends ever.  While he was proud of what he had accomplished in his career, it didn’t define him.

He recognized how hard she had worked to get to where she had gotten but worried about the toll it had taken on her.  At 44, she had never been married and had had few meaningful relationships.

Tim set out to woo Pamela.  He found that many carefully planned dates were cancelled at the last minute because of pressing and unexpected work schedules.

Eventually, Tim and Pamela had to define how their relationship was going to work vis a vis their careers.  Tim told Pamela that he needed her to make at least as much of a commitment to their relationship as to her job.  Pamela told Tim that she needed him to understand how important her job was to her.

Because Tim and Pamela really wanted their relationship to work, they were willing to put real effort into it despite their basic work compatibility differences.  But this is an example of a couple who through love and communication were able to succeed despite different compatibility levels.

Independence

Tracie liked to read, sew, and do crossword puzzles.  She had a small circle of friends, most of whom she had met through church.  Aside from her job (one where she didn’t interact with people much), she saw groups of friends at church and maybe one other time a week.

Ted was new in town and joined Tracie’s church right away.  He was immediately seen as a “catch” by all of the single women.  But, he saw something in Tracie and didn’t have eyes for anyone else.

The problem was that Ted was always doing something.  He joined a softball league, started volunteering at a soup kitchen, and joined the choir.  He was always pressuring Tracie to go to his games, volunteer with him at the soup kitchen, and to join to choir too.

What Ted didn’t see at first was that Tracie enjoyed her quiet ways.  She needed space.  While Ted was energized by social contact with others, this kind of activity drained Tracie.

Eventually, they decided that Ted would continue to have an active social calendar and that Tracie could participate or not depending on her feelings. 

This actually left both parties feeling that they had control of their independence.  Ted was able to be independent because he could do the activities he liked and Tracie had independence because she could choose not to do them.

Another example of the importance of independence is Robyn and Chad.  Chad was the highly independent type.  He liked to be “free as a bird” and didn’t like to “report” his whereabouts to Robyn.

Robyn was quite insecure.  She liked to know where he was and when he would be in for the evening.  Her previous marriage had dissolved when she discovered that her ex husband had had a long term affair which made her insecure about any future relationships.

Chad and Robyn had to go into counseling to deal with this independence issue.  Chad had to acknowledge Robyn’s insecurities and Robyn had to acknowledge that Chad wasn’t her ex husband.

Watch this great video advice from a man who has saved thousands of relationships!

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Propose To Your Girlfriend Read These 10 Tips First

By Charles Jackson

Hopefully, proposing to your girlfriend is something youll only get to do once! Hopefully!!! Increase your chances to make that so by reading these tips on how to propose to your girlfriend.

1. Only ask the question if you know the answer, just like a good lawyer! If you think she might say no, then you really havent been seeing her long enough!

2. If youre considering risking everything and proposing publicly ie at a ball game or in front of her family, then make sure youre extra certain shell say yes! Otherwise you risk turning your happy occasion into the most humiliating experience of your life!

3. Make sure you surprise her, or you risk turning the proposal into a huge anti-climax for her! Only tell who you need to and only then thats if you need help!

4. Always personalize your engagement proposal! You know her better than anybody else so this should be easy. Never carbon copy an idea you read on the web or in a magazine!

5. Always take a knee! Its old, corny and cliche but its how she always imagined her proposal would be since she was a little girl so dont disappoint her!

6. Guard the ring! Never risk losing it as part of your ingenious engagement scheme by giving it to the Cat to bring over or burying it in sand!

7. Keep good eye contact, she will know that you mean it and you will show confidence in the process!

8. Ambiance is the key to a good proposal! Most girls would take roses, music, food and candles over a huge ordeal in public!

9. Timing! If you would like a long proposal then propose in the spring! You could go for a spring wedding the following year! If you propose in the winter then it could be a very short engagement before you tie the knot!

10. Relax! If youve planned everything then itll go fine! This is a big moment for the both of you so enjoy it! - 31368

About the Author:

I hope youve gained some insight about how to Propose To Your Girlfriend you may now want to look at some specific marriage proposal ideas! We have lots of great ideas and suggestions to give you inspiration for the time when you Propose To Your Girlfriend! This is one of the most important moments in your life, so i wish you all the best for the occasion!

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Romantic Songs

By Gail Jones

A song can tell you a lot about life, the person who wrote it, the person who sings it and the person who likes to listen to it.. Songs belong to different genres. Have you ever come across a genre which is immortal? If you did would it be about love or hatred? Of course, everybody would declare that love is the most discussed, written and sung about by people of all races and nationalities. So, it is no surprise then to find out what makes a date worth cherishing?

Music invariably has something to do with it and music could actually style the mood of your date. Dating is such a great way of choosing your future lifetime spouse. When you are out on a date, see to it that the music is well-selected and that it generates a mood of romance.

People have composed all styles of songs, but the ones they write the best are love songs. Since the day the first love song was created, peoples hearts have been melting. Songs of finding a new love, losing love, songs of inspiration, songs of moving on, songs about romance, first loves and the gush of emotions.

With all due respect to all the artists concerned and their fans too, here are some of the most popular songs of Romance. They demonstrate the feelings of two people in love during a very romantic date:

Truly, Madly, Deeply: (Savage Garden) - this duos song speaks of a deep love and promises made to the other person.

Id be your dream Id be your wish Id be your fantasy Id be your hope, be your love Be everything that you need

This I Promise You: (N-Sync) - this group filled the airwaves with love. This song is really a promise of a lifetimes commitment. It is often used as a wedding song.

And I will take you in my arms And hold you right where you belong Until the day my life is through This I promise you

Iris: (Goo Goo Dolls) - it gained popularity not just because of the film in which it featured, but because the song touches the heart.

And I dont want the world to see me Cause I dont think that theyd understand When everythings made to be broken - I just want you to know who I am.

Dreaming of You: (Selina) - the singer died tragically, but the song lives on. It is a light song, but it goes straight to the heart.

Im dreaming of you tonight Til tomorrow And for all of my life And theres nowhere in the world Id rather be.

Songs will always be a big part of courtship and that usually begins with a date. Music is the food of love and music is one of the greatest inventions of mankind. Generations always have, and generations always will, continue to keep the tradition going. Music not only induces love and romance, but it also keeps love and romance alive. - 31368

About the Author:

Owen Jones, the writer of this piece, writes on many subjects, but is currently involved with Romantic Gifts: Ideas. If you have an interest in romantic gifts, please go over to our website now at Romantic Gifts: Ideas

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Taking A Romantic Cruise In Paris

By Owen Jones

If you are feeling romantic and you want to be alone with your loved one in a romantic place far from humdrum distractions, why not go to Paris and take a cruise? The cruise ships are gorgeous and offer haute cuisine with fine wines and a wide range of dishes. Service on board is superb and if they know that it is a special trip for you, they will go out of their way to make it even more special.

Just by choosing the city of Paris as your venue, you will be conveying the impression of romance, because as everybody knows, Paris has the reputation of being the capital of the world of romance.

So, how do you go about booking one of these cruises? Well, clearly, first of all, you have to be in Paris. This is not a difficulty, if you live in Europe as there are flights and sleeper trains. If you are American, you will have to take the longer-term view and start saving for next year.

Once in your hotel in Paris, you can either ask reception for details or go to one of the many Tourist Information Centres, where everyone speaks English. The cruise line staff will pick you up from your hotel on the appointed day, so that you will not have the hassle of having to find your way through a strange, busy city on your own.

Once on board, the pampering starts with your welcoming on board and a free drink to light the fires of romance. You will enjoy four or more hours of this, depending on which cruise you opt for, but they are all wonderfully romantic voyages aboard beautiful cruise liners.

Generally speaking, the cruise will start on the left bank of the river Seine, usually in the vicinity of the Eiffel Tower. Some of these boats are made of a type of plastic glass, so that your view of the streets and monuments is unimpeded. And of course, all the sights are lit up at night and in quite a spectacular manner too. You will also be able to gaze downwards into the water itself.

As you cruise on this glass boat you will be entertained by some of the finest musicians that Paris can offer you. Solo instrumentalists; quartets; classical music; solo artiste singers or a duet. There are also cruises with more modern music as well, but I dont find them as romantic as the more traditional stuff. However, you can take all these particulars into account when you book your romantic cruise in Paris.

You will not only pass by celebrated landmarks, you will also pass very close by them and even underneath them. Famous bridges; Notre Dame; the Louvre, and many more. Not only that, but you will see all these fantastic historical monuments while being pampered by the best hosts that Paris has to offer and drinking fine wines and champagne, seated at the bow of the cruiser in luxury.

Once your romantic cruise and your meal are over, you will be taken to a sumptuous show on the Champs Elysees, where you will be provided with a half bottle of champagne on entry. There is no need to worry about driving, so let your hair down and enjoy yourselves.

When you have had enough of the high life, you will be taken back to your hotel, in the same manner that you were picked up. However, there are other choices too. You may want to go back to the hotel on a romantic horse and carriage, it will maintain that romantic mood.

Once you get back to your hotel, why not both get in the bath together? Light a few fragrant candles, open another bottle of wine and play some soft music. It will be an evening you will both remember for the rest of your lives, I assure you. - 31368

About the Author:

Owen Jones writes on many subjects, but is currently involved with Valentines Day Gift Baskets. If you have an interest in romantic gifts, please go over to our website now at Romantic Gifts Ideas

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Expressing Love To Your Valentine Without Going Broke

By Adriana Noton

Valentines Day is one of those special holidays that you let that special someone know how you feel about them. With this holiday becoming so commercialized, it can often seem as though expressing your love can be very expensive, especially when one is on a tight budget. Fortunately, expressing love to your Valentine does not mean you have to go broke. There are a number of easy ways you can express your love without looking cheap. Below are a number of tips to make your holiday special without breaking your budget.

1. Many couples will go out to dinner on Valentines Day. When on a tight budget, this can often end up being a very expensive dining experience with the price hampering the romantic mood. One suggestion is to check the newspaper and coupon books for special Valentine Day specials. You can often find a two for one deal on special Valentine Days meals. If you are unable to find an affordable restaurant, you can always stay at home and make a special homemade meal. You will save a substantial amount of money if you shop for ingredients that are on sale. As well, you can be creative and romantic by having a candlelight dinner with romantic music. If you want to make a night of it, you can rent a romantic movie to watch after dinner.

2. Create your own special home spa bath. You can light scented candles in a bathroom, play romantic music in the background, and relax in a warm bubble bath. There are a number of stores such as Dollar Stores that sell inexpensive scented bubble bath, bath salts, massage oils, and scented soaps. A warm bubble bath for two while drinking a glass of wine is a romantic and inexpensive way to spend Valentines Day.

3. Flowers are a traditional Valentines Day gift. Many people think a bouquet of flowers are expensive. However, you can often buy cheaper flowers at a supermarket or if you have a flower garden, you can pick them yourself to make a creative bouquet. If you purchase flowers, you can create a beautiful blend of less expensive flowers.

4. Making homemade gifts can often mean more than a store bought gift. You can make a homemade mini scrapbook highlighting the special moments of your relationship. You can find inexpensive scrapbooks and accessories at discount stores or department stores. Special items to put in the scrapbook can include pictures, ticket stubs for a special concert, a menu or business card of the first restaurant where you ate, etc.

For people who love romance, Valentines Day is a very special time to express their love. During difficult economic times, it can be tough to come up with an inexpensive way to celebrate the holiday. If you find yourself tightening your budget because of the recent decline in the economy, you can still celebrate Valentines Day. With a little careful financial planning such as setting money aside a few months before the special day, and coming up with an inexpensive way to celebrate the occasion, you may find that you have the most romantic time ever. - 31368

About the Author:

Adriana Noton is a freelance writer who specializes in providing great financial information for Canadians. When searching online for debt counselling or credit counselling, one of the many resources available is Consolidated Credit; offering a variety of debt counselling services and financial planning tools to help Canadians get their debts under control.

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Are You Completely Lost On The Topic Of How To Love A Man

By Wendy Mason

Loneliness is all around us. Even though we find ourselves in a planet with billions of people, many of these people live alone. Others, who may live with others, still harbor extreme loneliness on a continual basis. In the case of woman, we find many searching for advice on:

a) How to make a man fall in love with me

b) How to make a man love you and you alone

c) How to love a man and all that he does

d) How to love a guy

e) How to make a man love you all the time

Men are different "animals". Most women realize this, right? How many women have tossed and turned late at night trying to figure men out, and how to show them that they truly care? Are gifts the best and only what that you can show that special guy that you truly do love them? In this article we will be going into this subject matter in great length. We will be exploring the various ways in which you can show him that you truly love him.

Yummy Food...

We have heard that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. This is true for many men. Now we wont go as far as to say that food is the way to make a man fall in love with you, but every man appreciates not only good food, but the thought that goes into the preparation of that special meal.

1) To get the ball rolling we will start with the first meal of the day, which is breakfast. How about making some heart-shaped pancakes? If hes not into pancakes you could do the same thing with toast. You could go one step further and even trim the butter that will accompany the meal into a heart shape. Heart-shaped butter on heart-shaped pancakes or toast. Yum.

2) Lunch is the next meal of the day. A lot of guys take their lunch from home, and this provides you with a great opportunity to show that you love him. Why not make him his special meal for lunch, and top it off with a note saying "I love you"? Will he ever be surprised...especially when he is looking to unpack that same ole sandwich and such...

3) The last meal of the day is the evening meal, at least for most people. Even though its the last meal of the day, this doesnt mean that it has to be the least romantic. You could start things off with a dinner via candlelight. Play some romantic and soothing music in the background. That great little bottle of wine. Oh, and dont forget to make him that special meal that he often raves about.

4) Snacks are often eaten throughout the day, but a romantic snack is a very memorable invent. I wonder, did you have that special treat that you ate together when you first started dating? An ice cream cone and a walk along the lake perhaps? Nobody says that you cant recreate this experience again by "retracing your steps". Bring on the romantic snack!

Affection

People need to know that others care about them, and men are included in this group. Even though a guy may be the "strong, silent type", he can still get a tear in the eye when he sees a touching or romantic movie. If you are looking to show that guy that you love him, why not try:

1) A hug says so, so much. When he least expects it, why not give him one. Come up from behind, put your arms around him, and give him a great big bear hug. You could whisper "I love you" into his ear. No need to overdo this mind you...keep it special.

2) Listen to him. Cant get much more simple than that. For many women it so tempting to talk your mans ear off when he gets him. You want to vent and get out your frustrations. For a change, let him talk and you just listen. Dont change the subject to your day, but offer "Im listening responses" like "I see" or "Hmmm". He will remember your care and concern for him...

3) Dont forget, some guys dont like to talk at all when they get home from work. The frustrations of their day are too near and too raw. They just want to sit back and "veg" for a while. Give them all the time that they need. They will probably start to talk your ear off once they unwind a bit, but give them that time to unwind.

4) Guys (at least quite a few of them) love a good relaxing massage. Are you gifted in giving a massage? Why not unleash this talent? Start off with the back, and run your fingers through his hair. Give him every opportunity to tell you what he likes and what he doesnt like. What a great way to unwind and prepare for the evening...

Activities With Romance

A lot of guys are very energetic and adventurous. They love to try out new things and test their manliness along the way. Here are some of the things that you can do to show that you love him:

1) Pure and simple, get out of that special "box" you have built around yourself and do something that you would not normally do. Do you hate football? Instead of complaining about the sport, why not join your man on the couch and try, I mean really try, to understand it. Instead of getting that "ugh" look on your face, why not ask them sincere questions. Whats a first down? What is a quarterback? You know the type of questions we are talking about. He will be taken by surprise at first, but since he loves the game, he will love to explain the finer points to you. If hes not into football you can do a bit of research before hand to determine what questions to ask. He will remember it...trust me...

2) Does your man have chores that he needs to do? Many guys have something that they need to do around the house on a regular basis. Lets suppose this happens to be taking out the garbage every week. Why not surprise him by taking it out for him? You could say that since he is especially busy this week you thought that you would help him out. Be sure to indicate why...he may think you really enjoy it and you have found you have a new chore around the house.

3) How about a pillow fight? Did you leave this fun behind when you grew up? Who says that you have to? Many of us have had pillow fights back when we were kids and used to jump up and down on the bed. Time to renew this activity. Heres an idea. One night, when you are getting ready for bed, hall off and "wallop" that guy of yours. Hell be taken by surprise, but might get a great kick out of it. Be prepared. He might "wallop" you back, and you are off and running to an energetic little evening.

Compliments Are Great

We all love to get compliments. We like to hear that others like our clothes, our jewelry, our hair, our "whatever". Do you know how to compliment a guy? Here are a few ways:

1) Remember to say only nice things about your guy when you are out in public. Tell your friends how special he is, or how hard he works, or how much he cares for others. Word will eventually get back to that special guy of yours. He will be thrilled that all the things he is most proud of have not gone unnoticed by others.

2) Some guys are really into clothes, and they love to show off their "sense of style". If that special guy in your life loves clothes, be sure that you notice all his efforts, and doubly make sure that you tell him that you notice. He will appreciate the fact that others, especially you, notice.

3) What do you like? Is there something that your man does that you really appreciate? Does he do the dishes from time to time? Does he take the baby out for a walk when you are exhausted? Let him know that those little things he does are really appreciated.

4) You could always leave some little romantic notes in places that he will find them. Why not put one on the bathroom mirror for example? He will see it when he gets up in the morning. Why not put one on the steering wheel of his car? He will see it when he drives to work in the morning.

Buy Him Something

Gift giving is usually reserved for special occasions or holidays. Who says gifts cant be given at other times? How much more special are those gifts that are given at other times of the year. Let us get you started in your gift giving adventure. We have searched the web and have come up with some gift ideas that we think are very special and unique. How about giving that special man one of these gems:

Our Way Cool Pick #1 - Is that special man in your life into experiencing the outdoors? Perhaps he likes to fish or hike or hunt or camp? I bet that you worry about him when he is away, right? You realize that he might get lost or hurt or "whatever". What will you do then? Well here is a great gem of an item that we came across. We didnt even know that something like this existed. The "Satellite Messenger" is a small electronic device (lightweight at a mere 8oz) that will give him the ability to track his adventures and travels into the great outdoors. This device will help keep you up-to-date on his current location and his status as well. What does all this mean? It means that you will know where he is, and if he is in serious trouble as well. How much is this piece of mind worth? This little device can call for help, so it might even save his life one day. Were not the only ones who think this is a great gift idea. Backpacker Magazine gave it their 2008 Editors Choice Award. Considering what "peace of mind" this little gadget will bring you, it might be just as much a gift for you as it is for him. Check out our blog for further details and ordering information.

Way Cool Pick #2 - So what do you get that special man who happens to have everything? Have you been getting him ties and sweaters because you cant think of anything else? Well, take a look at this gem of a gift idea!!! Think he would be interested in some Fighter Pilot Training? Imagine him being able to experience the adrenaline rush of air-to-air dogfight combat like his hero aces. He will be able to experience the ultimate "natural high" in one of the best military machines that mankind has ever developed. He doesnt need a pilots license for this, and yet he can still experience all the thrills! Hes not into airplanes you say? Well, this company we have found, Great American Days, has you covered. They have a whole list of exciting adventures and experiences, and surely there is one that will "tickle his fancy". How about a trip up to the edge of space? Does he want to drive a NASCAR? How about spending the day with the team who does underwater training for the Navy SEALs? You should definitely check out all that this company has to offer. Navigate over to our blog for ordering information.

Way Cool Pick #3 - Guys love their cars. They will often tell you of their favorite car. They might not be able to afford one of these cars mind you, but they would like to have one none-the-less. You might not be able to afford one of these cars either, but why not get him the next best thing. DieCast Car Models have been selling exact replicas of cars online since the year 2001. From Fords to Ferraris, from Toyotas to Lamborghinis, from "this car" to "that car", they seem to have all makes and models. These are not just mere models mind you, they are MODELS. If that special guy in your life is a lover of cars, dont miss the opportunity to see what this great company has to offer. Check out our blog for more details and ordering information.

In Conclusion

So what do you think of all that we have said? Does it make sense? Do you have enough examples of how to show that special guy that you love him? We hope so. If not, our blog has even more information than we can possibly relay in a single article. If you would like to see more wonderful presents for men, or more information on those items listed above, please navigate over to our blog at www.WonderfulPresentsForMen.com. For a selection of UNIQUE Christmas gifts, you can always check out: www.ExcellentChristmasList.com.

Have fun loving that guy... :) - 31368

About the Author:

Looking for some great presents for men? How about some UNIQUE gifts for filling that Christmas List? Wendy Mason has you covered.

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Gift Picnic Baskets Give The Gift Of Romance and Bonding

By Sophie Bassett

Picnic gift baskets are a fun gift idea and also very practical. You can just either buy a picnic gift basket at a department store, or if you have enough time to spare, make one. It is much more personalized and you can match the gift picnic basket with the recipient.

If you dont have time to spare to make the picnic gift baskets, why dont you just buy it in stores. Picnic gift baskets have gone a long way from the traditional ones to a much more practical and ingenious way on how they are individually separated according. They still retain the bare necessities like flatware, wine, bottle compartments, glasses, plates, cutting boards, knives, salt and pepper shakers, cork screws and napkins.

Picnic gift baskets are categorized by the following:

1. If you want a picnic gift basket that opens both ways simultaneously or one or the other, the two-fold picnic gift baskets will suit them best. Dry food and clothing can be packed on one side, while you pack the other picnic essential on the other.

2. Children picnic gift basket. The intention and need is more for the kids essential. They are heavily kids inspired and designed with beautiful and colorful teddy bears and with flower themes as well. And since you are bringing kids along, there are more extra waterproof pockets for carrying what the kids need throughout the journey.

3. If you need to eat food while travelling to your destination, the house-like picnic gift baskets suit them best. They are really created to look like houses so they open on either top side so you can still food that you have packed without disturbing the rest. It even has extra space for feeding bottles and for all the extra stuff that you may need.

4. Shelved picnic gift basket. These are specially made for bringing along wine or liter soda bottles or other bottled condiments you might need. They have specific long compartments so the bottle doesnt tumble or just keeps it in place to avoid spills.

5. Two-fold picnic gift basket. These are baskets that you can open simultaneously or one by one. They are divided in half so you can bring clothing or picnic blankets on one side, then the picnic essentials on the other. - 31368

About the Author:

Sophie likes to be outdoors. Check out her articles on picnic basket for 4 and wicker picnic basket.

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First Date Advice to Your Success

By Chase Chandler

You have got yourself a first date. You cant wait to get it started. But dont be too overly excited and get hold of yourself. You dont want to blow the first date off with your over-zealousness.

You do want to make a good impression, right? Then you have some important work to do to make sure everything will turn out well for both of you.

When you think of first date, it sounds very exciting and intimidating at the same time. Preparing for it is another matter.

Surely, you want something more from her than just being friends. So you have to carefully weigh things and do them right. Do you consider yourself in need of first date advice? Here are some thoughts to ponder to get past the crucial first date.

First, you should understand that not all guys with the looks, smarts and confidence will always be successful with first dates. So dont be too hard on yourself. What you should know is why even with these assets, such men fail with girls. The most common reason for such failure is that these men act too fast for a girl to comfortably go with. So, stop being a jerk and get your act together.

Be patient instead. To be successful with women, you should have this quality. Men who seem to have everything right, but are overly aggressive will still be a turn-off to women. Dont appear to be anxious to get a girlfriend. Women will sense this and will not like a man to be this way.

First dates should be done in a relaxed manner. No hurrying up to get it over. Enjoy the process and use this time to get to know her better. Keep the date fun and be casual in your ways.

Take the time to really enjoy the stories each will share. If you are too fast in your approach, girls will feel you may be desperate to get a girlfriend--which is a bad thing. So be careful and take it easy.

Displaying patience will not mean that you are weak. In fact, patience is a sign of confidence and strength. So keep yourself under check and give her enough time to process all these.

It does not work for you to hurry things up. In fact, if you do, you might end up losing her. So give her the time she needs to get comfortable with you. Before she can be intimate with you, she needs time to process this new thing she has with you.

Thus, the best first date advice is fairly easy: make it fun and be patient. To keep her wanting for more, do not take first dates too seriously. Concentrate on how to make it relaxing and enjoyable for both of you instead. Take it lightly. And only then you can truly enjoy! - 31368

About the Author:

Visit Dating-To-Mating for all of your dating advice needs. Interested in becoming and being the alpha male? See how the alpha male system can help you become an alpha male.

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Compatability Issues During A Romantic Relationship

A break up is a devastating and heart wrenching experience. If you are going through a break up realize that you are not alone and that there is still hope. Youre probably unable to take your mind of off your ex and are doing everything you possibly can to try and save your relationship from permanent dissolution. The thing is your relationship can probably be saved no matter how bad it looks right now and now matter what the reasons are for the break up. Keep a positive attitude and keep trying and youll probably find that your ex still feels the same way about you.

Sociability

How much independence do you need and desire in a relationship?  If you are in your 30s and never been married, you probably have developed a strong social network outside of a romantic relationship and will be reluctant to give that up just because you’ve fallen in love.

Jake was a computer programmer and spent long hours in front of his terminal.  He was naturally a shy, quiet type and didn’t require a lot of social interaction to make him happy.  When he did get away from his computer, he liked to go hiking alone or work out at the gym.  Basically, he was an independent type.

Then he met Terri who was far more social than he was.  She was a computer sales representative and her job involved making social connections in order to make sales.  She thrived on contact with people.

Terri and Jake met when she came to his office to sell a complicated hardware system.  The purchasing manager had called Jake in to get his opinion about the system.  Jake said he needed more information just so he could go out with drinks with Terri.

After the initial bloom of the relationship, Jake started retreating back into his solitary world.  He still wanted to spend time with Terri, but he had no desire to meet her friends or enter into her social world.  Terri was hurt by this because she was so interdependent on her social network and felt this was a rejection of her.

Terri and Jake finally went into couple’s counseling.  The therapist was able to help them see that they had different needs for independence.  Jake had to compromise by being more social occasionally while Terri had to respect his need for solitude a greater amount of time.

Spirituality

Many parents express to their children that they would be disappointed if the child married someone outside of their religious faith.  Most of the time when we think of spirituality in terms of romantic compatibility we talk about specific religions.  But, there is more to spirituality than that.

It is true that if you hold true to a specific faith, it may be hard to become close to someone who doesn’t hold those tenants.  If you believe that anyone who doesn’t accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior is doomed to Hell, then dating a Buddhist or a Muslim presents significant obstacles.

Maria was a devout Catholic and always assumed she would marry a Catholic man.  She met Jim who was a lapsed Lutheran and fell in love with him.  As they started talking about their wedding, they began to see obstacles that could plague them for the rest of their lives. 

For instance, Maria wanted to be married by a priest in a Catholic church.  That made Jim uncomfortable because he had no familiarity with the Catholic church.  When the priest told Jim he wouldn’t be permitted to take Communion at his own wedding, he balked.

That lead Jim and Maria to talk about other issues that they would face as a married couple.  For instance, Jim wanted to raise his kids to be exposed to a variety of faith traditions and think critically about religion in general.  Maria wanted to raise good Catholics.

As Jim and Maria began to discuss these issues, they realized that their initial attraction for each other was being dragged down by the issue of spiritual compatibility.  Maria began to see a priest for counseling and ultimately realized that she would be happier with a man who shared her faith and Catholic values.

Check out this free video advice from a man who has saved thousands of relationships!

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A Romantic Hotel Break

By Amanda C Love

A romantic trip for a couple should be selected cautiously as it is important to consider the level of intimacy you can expect to enjoy on the break. You should look find something that fills your time with passion and something that does not stress you out instead. It is essential that you are both looking forward to the break and are not worried about anything you may have planned on.

There are many relaxing options such as a hotel near a sandy beach or a trip up to a property located up the mountains with access to gorgeous views and pretty walks. Spa breaks are also a possibility where you can both relax and enjoy the treatments together. A relaxing massage is the perfect way for you both to unwind and leave you both without any stress

Make sure you pick a property with the right facilities for you and also consider alternative solutions should the weather not be as good as you planned. A swimming pool and leisure amenities are usually available in some of the better hotels.

If you are planning any special evening meals make sure that the restaurant in the property you are staying at is of a acceptable standard or phone the hotel and see if there is a local restaurant that they could suggest for a particular occasion. Do not forget to plan for a taxi in the event that you are both going to be drinking. The more you think ahead the more likely you will have a better trip without any problems.

You do not have to wait for a special occasion to go on a romantic trip for two. Any time is good enough provided that you make some plans to get the most suitable destination where you can both be happy doing the same stuff together. It would be worthless going on a romantic break if you went off to fish on your own whist leaving your spouse on there own in the hotel. That would not be a romantic hotel break for two more like a romantic trip for 1. - 31368

About the Author:

Romantic hotel breaks can make all the difference to your relationship if you plan it properly. Find out more from Amanda Love of the web site bra and pants

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Romantic Marriage Proposals 7 Ideas For Your Proposal

By Charles Jackson

Before taking a look at the following romantic marriage proposals, I have to insist that you dont simply copy any idea you read word for word, but to improve upon it and above all make it personal to your own relationship!

That being said, I hope these romantic marriage proposals give you inspiration for when your ladys big moment arrives.

1. Arrange for a day at the spa and then a private photo shoot. Go down on one knee while youre being photographed, youll have the image forever! Afterwards you can go for a meal followed by a night at a 5 star hotel.

2. Tell her to meet you in the park for lunch, then turn up late on horseback wearing a suit of armour. Swing off the horse and offer to be her prince. A nearby friend could play Holsts "Jupiter" as you approach.

3. Hire a limo and pick her up from work. Hand her a rose and have her best outfit for her ready. Drive to the best restaurant in town and have them serve you in the limo. You can propose for desert over champagne.

4. Recreate your first ever date! Take a walk past the spot where you met. Cook her the first meal you made for her and eat it at your first ever picnic spot. Propose to her while listening to your first ever music.

5. Scope out an idyllic spot which is unfamiliar to her perhaps near a lake or river. Have her arrive blindfolded and when you uncover her eyes, have a picnic set up! You could hide some champagne in the water and propose to your special song.

6. Go to her house when shes away and make a candlelit path leading up to her front door and beyond into her bedroom. When she follows the candles she will find they lead to you on one knee!

7. Go for a meal at a fancy restaurant and get collected by a horse drawn carriage. Drink champagne while youre riding around the city and propose while youre cuddling underneath the stars. - 31368

About the Author:

Proposing to your girlfriend is one of the most important moments of any mans life! So I hope my Romantic Marriage Proposals inspired you a little! We also have many more Romantic Marriage Proposals to help you out for your ladys big moment! We also have a free download I think youre going to like!

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Dating Tips For Men Mistakes You Might Be Doing With Women

By Janine Hanson

As we probably all know, dating is really not easy. No one can guarantee that you can have success with women. And in actual fact, a lot of men think that women are very confusing that they often affix themselves to the first woman who pays them any attention.

To tell you frankly, there are a lot of dilemmas when it comes to the world of dating; it is not easy to handle it all. From the things men frequently do, and not from the women who do some actions. In this article, being matchmaking expert and base on my own observation, I want to pin down some of the most usual mistakes guys make with girls.

#1- You are afraid to approach her

You cant get her attracted to you if you dont have the guts to make an approach. A lot of men just wait for the "right" time before they approach the woman they like. But in reality, there is no "right" moment to approach a woman. It does not really exist. If you see the woman you really admire, then do not be hesitant and have enough guts to greet her. Approach her but of course in a correct conduct. The most appalling thing that could happen is if she refuses. Well you have to face the rejection.

Mistake 102: You do not have enough confidence

In no doubt I know that you have heard this countless times, but it is really worth it to repeat it again.

Lots of ladies really like a man who is confident about himself. If you dont have this quality, then you are just wasting your golden possibilities to get her attracted to you. Because of not having enough self confidence, you only show that you will just cause tediousness and you cant make a good impression. For this instance: A man who always looks for approval from others.

A man with self confidence has a pride but not conceited. And also, he has an impressive personality without any need to show off. By having this mind-set, you can easily get the attraction of women. You should be confident in any situation you will meet.

Mistake 103: Pretending someone else you are really not

Pretending like you are somebody else is one of the fastest ways to obliterate a possible relationship with the woman you definitely adore. Guys are commonly judged based on what they say than actions. As a result, if you feel that you need to pretend to get their attention instantly, then you are putting yourself up in a crucial situation. Honest confident men dont need to be brag off and tell lies consistently. He knows that the truth will prevail for the better outcomes- more than establishing a fake personality.

Now, we are all responsible of telling those intermittent, trivial lies. However, if you frequently need to lie to the woman you like just to make a good impression and for things to go the way you liked it, you are just wasting your time. Later on, it will hunt you down. - 31368

About the Author:

Janine Hanson is a matchmaking expert for single men and women who established principles of integrity and confidentiality of her clients. Exotic Chat Line is the chat line that is wilder than all the other chat lines- register for free click here Phone Chat. If you are looking for interracial, foreign, or exotic chats with singles looking to connect live click here Chat Lines

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Romantic Engagement Proposal Ideas

By Charlie Jackson

Before I give you some engagement proposal ideas, you need to make sure that you dont simply copy somebody elses ideas!

Any idea you use, you need to take some of your shared experiences in order to make the proposal personal to the two of you!

I hope these engagement proposal ideas give you some inspiration:

1. Mail her a photo of you on one knee with a special love poem. Wait outside her house for the post to arrive and when you hear her scream, knock on the door and propose in person.

2. Say youre away on business for 2 weeks with a special anniversary in the middle. Arrange with her friend to meet each other at a nice restaurant on the anniversary. Instead of her friend, it will be you...Propose!

3. Go on a night time hot-air balloon ride over some mountains or beautiful scenery. Under the stars and over champagne you can propose to her.

4. Go building sand castles, or digging for shells on the beach. You can "stumble" upon an old bottle with a love poem inside. Read her the poem, it will become clear it is about her and then propose.

5. You could go for a nice meal and ask her to marry you. When she says "yes" you can start the wedding immediately! Make sure you plan it all out and that youre certain shell say yes!

6. Get her 3 roses and say that they symbolize the past, present and future. Have the ring attached to the future!

7. Arrange for a spa day followed by a photo shoot. While the photos are being taken, get down on one knee and propose! You will have the pictures forever! After, go for a nice meal followed by a 5 star hotel! - 31368

About the Author:

Whatever Engagement Proposal Ideas you would like to have a go with, I highly suggest you consider a wide range! Youre only getting one shot at this after all!!! Take a look at Engagement Proposal Ideas for more suggestions and inspiration! Theres also a free download youre going to love!

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Marriage Proposal Ideas 7 Romantic Proposals

By Damian Jackson

The following are some marriage proposal ideas you could consider!

I suggest that you never copy an idea word for word but to take an idea and make it unique to you and your lady!

1. Arrange for a day at a health spa followed by a photo shoot. While youre getting your photos taken, go down on one knee and propose! Youll have it all on camera! Afterwards go for a meal followed by night at a 5 star hotel!

2. Go building sand castles or digging for sea shells on the beach! Suddenly you could "find" a bottle with a love poem inside! Read it to her! It will slowly become clear that its all about her! When youre finished you can propose!

3. Recreate your first date together by taking a walk past where you first met! Eat where you had your first picnic with the first meal you ever cooked for her, while listening to your first ever music! You could watch the first movie you watched together before proposing!

4. Go for a picnic at an idyllic location youve spent time searching for in the mountains or next to a river. Hide a bottle of champagne and play some music! Create a romantic setting and propose!

5. Arrange for a hot air balloon ride over your city at night! Look at the bright lights below and the stars above! Take along all her favorite food and some champagne and dont forget something to keep the balloon operator occupied otherwise itll be awkward!

6. How about an instant wedding? After youve proposed and she said yes, start the wedding immediately! The laws in Hawaii are more lax and will make this more possible! You need to be extra certain shell say "yes" though!

7. You could go away for a "business trip" which unfortunately coincides with your anniversary! Make sure youve already "been away" for at least a week, so shes missing you and then show up on your special day! Surprise her and then propose! - 31368

About the Author:

If you like any of these Marriage Proposal Ideas, then consider looking at it in greater detail! Also, take a look at our other Marriage Proposal Ideas to give yourself more inspiration for one of the most important moments of your life! Best of luck!

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A New Age In Dating

Dating is one of those things that everyone has done at one time or another. Back in the days of high school, dating was considered fun and exciting to all. But those days came to an end once you got married and grew up a bit.

Now that you have divorced and you are tired of living on your own, you might want to consider dating again. So, how does an adult, who has been married for almost 20 years, go about dating in this day and age? Some things have changed greatly since those early days of a movie and popcorn date.

The first thing you are going to notice is technology has taken over the clubs, bars, and fairs that people used to go to in order to find a date in the first place. Facebook and various other social networking sites have pretty much taken over that aspect. Don’t forget about all those dating sites that you see commercials for on your television, either. Computers and dating are starting to go together like sugar and coffee these days and, because of that, you are going to have to change your game up a little bit.

Exactly what to say and what to do to get your ex back on a date. Follow these instructions and it will be easy as pie because it will seem so natural. This has worked hundreds if not thousands of times

It is really difficult to convey emotion when you are typing to someone on a computer. Remember that when you are saying things through an instant message or email, you are going to have to be fairly specific so you dont end up scaring that potential date off. What might be a funny opening line in real person, where they can see the smile on your face and the hint of sarcasm in your words might just end up offending someone who is simply reading it online. Always take that into consideration when you are trying to find a date through a social networking or online dating site.

You should also be aware that the person you are talking to may not be the person they are portraying themselves to be. There have been numerous accounts of guys acting like women and vice versa just to start up a conversation with someone as a joke. You might also find that the strapping quarterback or energetic cheerleader turns out to be a 350 pound man named Judd that lives in a trailer behind his mother’s house. Make sure they send you a picture with a hand written note to you with your name on it to be sure.

Dating in this type of a technological age is something that a lot of teenagers have no issues with, but anyone that has been married since the advent of the home computer, can remember what a modem sounded like while connecting to AOL, and loves the old drive-in movies might have a difficult time adjusting with how things are done these days. Don’t worry, though. If you are lucky, the person you are looking to date will feel the same way you do and that will just give you something to talk about while you are waiting for your movie to download onto your phones.

A break up is a devastating and heart wrenching experience. If you are going through a break up realize that you are not alone and that there is still hope. Youre probably unable to take your mind of off your ex and are doing everything you possibly can to try and save your relationship from permanent dissolution. The thing is your relationship can probably be saved no matter how bad it looks right now and now matter what the reasons are for the break up. Keep a positive attitude and keep trying and youll probably find that your ex still feels the same way about you.

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Conclusion to Compatibility in a Romantic Relationship

Going through a break up is heart wrenching, especially so if its someone youve really grown to care about. If youre going through a break up and scrambling to do everything you can to save your failing relationship dont fret because its not over yet. The truth is that most relationships can be saved despite the reasons and despite the odds. No matter how bad it looks for you right now there are things you can do and learn that will help you overcome your current issues.

Last post on the topic can be found here.

Family

Charlene, age 38, had two children from a previous marriage.  They were 16 and 18 and would soon be in college.  When she met Pete, she felt that she had raised her family and was now looking forward to a home without kids.

After a few dates, Pete told Charlene that he had never had kids and felt that he had missed out on a big part of life as a result.  He pointed out that she still had a few child bearing years left and inquired about whether she was willing to start over again.

This was a big issue for Charlene.  She wasn’t sure she was ready for the commitment to diapers, PTA meetings, little league games, and teen age antics all over again.

She knew that this was a big issue for Pete too.  Because her own kids had given her life shape and meaning, she couldn’t say that he shouldn’t have them.  She also knew that if she didn’t agree to have kids, Pete might leave her for a younger woman who would.

But the issue of children is not the only kind of family issue that arises. 

Blake and Rebecca met on a Single’s cruise and had a wonderful 7 days together.  When they got back on land, Rebecca discovered that Blake’s mom, who was suffering from Multiple Sclerosis lived with him.  She realized that if the relationship were to progress, she would have to take on some of the care-taking responsibilities for his mom.  She also realized that they would never live alone as a couple.

When you marry someone, you marry their family as well.  Sometimes, that means you roll your eyes at the drunk uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.  But other times, it means taking on the serious issues that go along with caring for the other people in your life.

Determining your attitude toward children and toward an extended family is one of the core compatibility issues couples face.


Conclusion

You don’t have to be 100 percent compatible on every issue to have a healthy, happy relationship.  In fact, I would be surprised if any couple does.

What is important is that you can agree on enough of the “big” issues that the small ones work themselves out. 

Here are five ways to handle compatibility roadblocks.

1.    Acknowledge that the roadblock exists.  Don’t gloss over your differences or pretend they don’t matter at the beginning of the relationship.  Deal with them early on.

2.    Learn about your partner’s life experiences including their ethnic and cultural background, religion, political ideals, and generational differences.  This can help you get rid of misconceptions based on these differences from the beginning.

3.    Don’t think that every disagreement is a compatibility issue.  Just because you want to have Valentine’s dinner at an Italian restaurant and your partner wants to go for French does not mean that you are fundamentally incompatible. 

4.    You can agree to disagree by agreeing that mutual respect overcomes a great deal of incompatibility.  Resist the urge to try to “convert” your partner to your political or religious views.

5.    Seek common ground.  Try focusing on the issues you can agree on.  Work from your strengths and strengthen those things you have in common.

Love is what you make of it.  If you have a future with someone, you will undoubtedly find that you don’t have everything in common.  That’s okay.  In fact, that’s human.  Working on the areas where you have compatibility issues will strengthen your relationship.

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