Im not stranger to nasty breakups and trying to get an ex back. Ive had breakups that Ive handled horribly (see some of my other articles for examples of this) and never saw those girlfriends again. But Ive also had breakups that I handled well and was able to get my ex back when I wanted to. Over the years, Ive realized that handling breakups right (in a way that leaves you the option of getting back together) requires three steps. You dont have to follow the times exactly, but you do need each of these three steps in some capacity if you want to get an ex back.
Get An Ex Back Step 1: Leave them the heck alone.
The first part is pretty simple. No matter how much your emotions cry out to dial up your ex, beg them to take you back, and call every person they may or may not ever hook up with a scumbag, loser, tramp, etc., you need to remember this rule: No talking to your ex. None. You get to have one more conversation with them, and that ends with you agreeing that the breakup is a good idea and both of you need some time away from each other to figure things out.
Get An Ex Back Step 2: Move on.
Yeah, this one can be a bit counter intuitive. But if you want to get an ex back, you need to move on from them during this phase. This is the time for you to make your life great. Hit the gym, eat right, go out with your friends, date other people, work on your career, and generally do the exactly opposite of every stereotypical thing people do after a breakup. This is not the time to eat a pint of ice cream or drink a twelve pack of beer. Its the time for you to put yourself back in the center of your own life and start being the person you want to be.
Get An Ex Back Step 3: Start over slowly.
When you finally talk to your ex again (and this should be at least a month after the breakup), ask them to go for coffee to catch up. Meet them for a half an hour and no longer. Talk about the changes youve made ("Ive been trying this new workout routine and Im really liking it. Im even up for a promotion at work."), and ask how theyve been. End the coffee date before things get too reflective, and just say goodbye. Then call them again in another week and go out for coffee again, this time for longer. Slowly work your way up until youre practically together again, and have "the talk" about making it official. Dont beg, dont be clingy, dont get jealous, and DEFINITELY dont go on about how much better of a boyfriend or girlfriend youll be if they just give you another chance. Be your new, confident, powerful self and theyll fall for you all over again.
This article is sponsored by medical case study.
