Forgiveness An Important Eternity Perspective

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future."
~Bernard Meltzer

Forgiveness is a future concept. It is also about regret. For every single person that has mastered the art of forgiveness in one important relationship, there would be literally a thousand and more who have missed their opportunities. Many of these missed opportunities have contributed to a later lifetime of pain.

Forgiveness is a near and present option we all have.

There are grudges we hold against certain people - and all of us do - and our opportunity to make things right is now. Furthermore, we hold grudges even against ourselves. When will we identify these past issues of dissonance, put them to bed, and pave for ourselves a freshly hopeful future?

DEALING WITH OUR GENERATIONAL FAULTS OF MANUFACTURE

Most of our grudges against others occur because of conflicts of personality within the family or within the workplace. These dynamics have existed for generations and will continue to recur through succeeding generations long after we have gone. It stands to reason that we do not need to make the same mistakes others before us have, or those that will come after us - if they should so choose.

Our faults of manufacture are not Gods fault. They are the fault of our pride.

We have available to us the opportunity to overcome our pride; to loosen the quiet grip of anger which prevents us from reconciling broken situations.

We may have had parents and grandparents and great grandparents who struggled to forgive, many of whom may have gone to their graves not having reconciled. It doesnt have to be that way with us. If we wrangle with our faults of familial manufacture - the ways we have been built - and we expose them to truth - we, and our present loved ones and colleagues, stand to benefit greatly. And regrets are circumvented.

DOING NOW WHAT ONLY NOW WE CAN

There are so many things we can only do now whilst we have the chance.

The importance of this principle can never be understated. We assume life will continue on the trajectory it is indefinitely, even though we know death comes to us all. Still, we put off and we put off and we put off. And though grace works through time to give us plenty of chances typically, we just never know when all those chances might dry up, suddenly. And sudden that transition is!

We are wise to do now what only now we can do. Before eternity intercedes, and we never know when it will, let us forgive; before its too late.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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Compatibility In A Relationship Part 2

Going through a break up is heart wrenching, especially so if its someone youve really grown to care about. If youre going through a break up and scrambling to do everything you can to save your failing relationship dont fret because its not over yet. The truth is that most relationships can be saved despite the reasons and despite the odds. No matter how bad it looks for you right now there are things you can do and learn that will help you overcome your current issues.

The last post on compatibility dealt with attraction and the early stages of a relationship. Today we will discuss some more factors to a good relationship.

Intellect

People have different desires for the intellect of their partners.  Some people want to be in a relationship with someone who is their intellectual peer while others want to feel smarter than their partner.  Still others like to look up to someone who is smarter than they are.

Jaclyn had her master’s degree in Special Education and was a master teacher at a local high school.  She taught future teachers at the university part time as well. 

Robert was an electrician who had a 12th grade education and an apprenticeship following high school.  While he had business and street smarts, he wasn’t particularly intellectual. 

Whenever the disparity in education came up, Robert liked to point out to Jaclyn that despite her additional years at the university, he still made twice what she did. 

If Robert and Jaclyn are going to succeed long term, they have to come to grips with the fact that they have different kinds of intellect and that they can value the ways in which the other is smart.

Emotions

Do you put strong value on your emotions?  If you do, this may be an area of compatibility to consider.

Jon made decisions based on “gut feelings.”  He once quit a job because he knew “instinctively” that he and the new manager would not get along.  He liked spontaneous activities.  Jon’s idea of an ideal vacation would be to set out on a road trip with no destination in mind.

Then he met Donna, who was so methodical that she worked blow drying her hair into the calendar on the iPhone she carried everywhere.  When faced with a big decision, she would agonize over it for days or even weeks making lists of the “pros” and the “cons.”

Jon and Donna had a long way to go in blending their emotional personalities in their relationship.  Jon was an emoter while Donna was tighter with her feelings.  Jon could say “I love you” a lot sooner in the relationship than could Donna.

While it seems on the surface that Jon has more emotional needs, Donna may have the more significant issues.  Her emotional needs are screened behind defenses that make her less vulnerable.

Donna was able to be freer in her feelings through Jon’s love and encouragement, but she needed him to meet her part of the way. 

Finances

Debbie was the classic “paycheck to paycheck” spender.  She would see a purse that she “had” to have and think nothing about pulling out a credit card and buying it, even if she didn’t know where the money was going to come from.  She loved nights out with the girls and traveled frequently.  Sometimes when things got too tight, she’d hit up her parents for a loan that somehow never got paid back.

Rick had an impoverished background and had put himself through college by working two jobs.  He was proud of the fact that he had not taken out student loans for his education.  At age 36, his only loan was a mortgage on a home where the monthly payment was under market rates for a similar rental.

Nevertheless, Debbie and Rick met at a speed dating event.  He was drawn to her openness and she liked the fact that he seemed so well put together.

At first, Debbie liked everything about him except that he didn’t seem to want to spend money on her.  It made Rick nervous that Debbie seemed to spend money on everything.

Finally, they had a talk about finances.  Debbie freely admitted that when one credit card was maxed out, the sensible thing to do was to apply for another.  She was stunned to find out that Rick thought a car should be bought with cash, even if it meant waiting six years for a new one.

After “the talk” Rick and Debbie started growing apart.  They started noticing other things that they didn’t like in their relationship.  The fact was that their spending habits were too different to make a strong relationship work.

Take a look at this video advice from a man who has saved thousands of relationships!

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Trying to Get Your Ex Back The Number One Thing You Must Avoid

By Jason Jee

Funny how life seems to make things more complicated for you. The more you beg for your ex to come back, the harder and more complicated things are. You accepted all the blame and you had asked for forgiveness too often. However, why is it still not enough? What did you do wrong that made your ex angry at you? You contemplate hours and hours and still there is nothing. Do not worry, this happens to almost everyone. You do not need to lose hope and remember that the sun shines after every storm.

In most cases, after a breakup both partners will go through three different stages. Probably, right now you are still on the first stage which is denial stage. At this stage, you are still confused and your confidence level starts to lower down. This is apparently the most difficult stage. Heartaches and depression are in this stage. More often, people that did not learn to cope up in this stage end up alone and lonely. And in this stage, you will still keep on hoping and wishing that what is happening to you right now is just a dream.

However, if you cannot beg for your ex to come back, how will you reconcile with your ex? The good news is you do not have to lower your pride and suffer too much from heart breaks. You can get your ex back if you are determined to do so. All you need to do is to trick your ex. Even though your ex is still ignoring you and pushing you away, you can still capture your ex heart.

One of the possible reasons why your ex broke up with you is that your ex was starting to get bored in the relationship. Your ex might have thought that the fire may start burning again if heartaches and pains are incorporated within the relationship. Love is still there and your ex just needs some reasons to keep the relationship going. Begging and blaming yourself constantly just make your ex thinks twice about giving you another chance.

Specifically, let your ex recall all the happy moments you two had shared. However, do not keep on reminding your ex. Just do it naturally. It is much easier if your common friends will help on the process. Ask them to also remind your ex only the happy thoughts and memories. As this continues, your ex will realize that you are the only person who would love them like you do.

Forcing your ex to forgive you is not the solution to your problem. In fact, begging only pushes your ex away. However, rather than beg, live your life to the fullest and move on. Enjoy your freedom. Now, no one can tell you what to do and what you should not do. If your ex sees you this way, your ex will think again about the relationship. If this goes as you have plan, your ex will beg for you to come back instead. - 31368

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Getting back together after a break up Discover a step by step plan to get your ex back. How can I get my ex back soon

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