Tampilkan postingan dengan label challenging. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label challenging. Tampilkan semua postingan

Are Your Relationships Challenging

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Is getting along with people difficult? Then, I would ask myself; does my life revolve around assumptions and gossip?

Sometimes misunderstanding, hear-say, gossip or accusation can ruins lives. Live your life as "The Four Agreements" and have wonderful harmonious relationships. "The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Dont take anything personally. 3. Dont make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. "Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.

It might start as an innocent joke or sometimes justification of an action one takes. However when any "discussion" starts to take shape of one-sided allegation or mere finger-pointing or blame, that is when we need to seat up and question, before posting any comments or personal opinions.

In life, no event, situation or circumstance arouses because of one-sidedness. There are always two people or two parties involved. A falling-out occurs because two people or a group of friends may have had a disagreement or misunderstanding of some sort and it leads to disharmony or difference of opinion.

That does not make one party "right" and another party "wrong". When one side refuses to understand or make amends or give benefit of doubt that is when a small situation can snow ball into a nasty conflict.

When so-called friends, relatives or third-party listen to one side of the story and make judgements or even comments negatively. This perpetuates the outcome into a unhelpful one and takes it to a point of no-return.

We sometimes feel helpless as we assume we cannot influence what is happening around us. The good news is; we can help! Please question the intelligence and ask us, "Are you the one who will blindly follow unfounded information?" "Would you believe anything anyone relates?" Rumours are dangerous and it might give a short term buzz, but please be aware of the damage it may be causing!

Never take a story from one angle and support it, however close friend or relative you might be? When people have beliefs that are different from our own, they get scared, defend themselves, and impose their point of view on others. Sometimes we listen to gossip and make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you feel is kind, loving and helpful. Communicate with others as clearly as you can, to avoid any misunderstandings, sadness and dramas. With just this one agreement, "Dont make assumptions", we can transform our life completely!

When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view and their dreams. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel.

I know, if someone gets angry with me, it is because my belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. I do not become angry, create conflict and expend energy arguing. As I am well aware of the damage assumptions and gossip can create. Hence I maintain my silence. Instead I empower myself with the "Powers".

Understanding Powers

Power of Silence
Silence is Golden, Silence is stillness of mind. Silence is the gap between each thought. Experience and increase this gap and remember our original nature; our innate original vibrating Self. Through silence we can achieve that seems unachievable or impossible.

Power of Meditation
Meditation allows us to create a window to access our innate natural state of being. It allows us to effortlessly be joyful, experience a peaceful moment with nature, be warm and patient with our loved ones, and fully be present to enjoy the blissful energy radiated by our pets.

Power of Blessings
Giving and receiving blessings is one of the most potent actions of all other deeds of GOD. Gods every spoken or unspoken word becomes a blessing for us. We are living images of God on this earth. To give even the slightest glimpse of the Almighty Authority, if we perform this one act joyfully then we would be able to give vision of GOD on this earth. We can emphatically say we have accomplished our purpose on this earth when we understand and use the power of blessings.

Power of Forgiveness
When we hold grudge, anger, jealously, hatred, resentment, revenge, irritation, frustration, and impatience, it opens the door to FEAR. Forgiveness unveils the negative emotions and dissolves them. Learning to forgive is like learning to walk. Step by step. Forgiveness melts the toughest rocks or in our case the hardest hearts into love and well-being.

Power of Appreciation
Appreciation and Humility are twins. When we have one we experience the other. When we are not humble we can not appreciate. When we are appreciative of every thing and every one in our life, it is a humbling experience. Appreciation de-energises the power to our EGO Self; the body consciousness. Appreciation is the single most powerful act to bring ourselves back into the Light Nodes or check the Nodes of Being Spectrum.

Power of Non Judgement
Each an every soul on this earth is unique. Each one has at least one very unique talent that no other soul on this earth has. It has been gifted by GOD. So criticising others will cause us to belittle Gods action. I learnt not to judge people a long time ago and I have spared myself so much agony and heart-ache. I have also tapped into this renewed energy which has freed me from this vicious cycle of focusing, judging, categorising, labelling and boxing people, events, circumstances or situations into "bad", "very very bad", "not so good", "terrible", "could be better", "not enough", "horrible", "good", etc.

Sometimes also referred to as being a S.L.O.B.! (Sorting, Labelling, Organising and Boxing) incidents, persons, conditions, state of affairs, behaviours, consequences, outcomes, results, experiences, occurrences, happenings, occasions, events or circumstances.

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Unhappy With Boyfriend Advice How To Help Your Boyfriend Make You Happy

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You love your boyfriend a lot and he is delightful at times. But right now, you feel unhappy with your boyfriend, and you know your behavior could be pushing him away. To help save your relationship and make it even better, allow me to share with you some unhappy with boyfriend advice (what I do when I am unhappy with my boyfriend). Doing this has not only saved our relationship from misery, we are both happy most of the time now. More importantly, as a result of what Ive done, my boyfriend finds me so precious that he doesnt want to let me go. He has proposed and we are preparing for marriage!

My advice to someone who is unhappy with her boyfriend is to understand men better. To do this, Ive attended seminars, read books, researched online and spoke to people (both male and female). Overall, I still find books to be the most comprehensive and accessible method to understand men better. The more you understand men, the easier it gets for you to help your boyfriend make you happier. Without additional knowledge, you can spin round in circles - doing the same old things while hoping for a different result... insanity.

However, in my quest to understand men better, Ive made some common mistakes...

1. I asked my boyfriend to explain his behavior to me. From my experience, this only frustrates and confuses men. In the beginning, a guy may play along and explain himself. But the answers are usually very short and dont really explain anything. After a while, the guy gets frustrated and refuses to say anything. He gets very moody and withdraws. The relationship dies a slow death. So if you want to understand your boyfriend better, dont ask him yet. Learn from a trusted source first and confirm what youve learned with him later.

2. Ive read some books and thought I knew it all. In the beginning, I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I even attended a talk by Dr John Gray himself. I thought I knew it all and stopped learning after that. Unfortunately, even though I had gained additional informational, it still didnt help me save my relationship with my ex. There was more that I needed to learn.

For some women, attending one course and reading one book can change the way they relate to their boyfriend and improve their relationship tremendously. Perhaps I am a slower learner. So, Ive had to continuously read and learn more from relationship experts in order to understand men better.

My point is, if youve read some books before, applied the information and got happier with your boyfriend for a while, but then it got worse again, dont give up. Education is a life-long process. As long as weve got books about relationships to read, forums, counselors, married friends to talk to, everything is going to be fine. You definitely have the power to make your relationship dreams come true.

Why its been important for me to understand men better when I feel unhappy with my boyfriend...

Each time I felt unhappy with my boyfriend, he wasnt the one who had a problem with our relationship. I did. And the more unhappy I was, the more he withdrew. This made me feel anxious, which caused him to withdraw further. It was a downward spiral. But spending time alone to read more about understanding men always brings my heart and mind back to the right place... I feel a deeper compassion for my boyfriend and men in general. I also get great ideas on what to do to help my boyfriend give me what I need and want.

But shouldnt my boyfriend work harder to make me feel better too?

The fact is, men are really quite clueless about relationships. You may not believe it now, but all a man wants is to make you happy. And when you are not happy, he feels bad about himself. Unfortunately, men dont and cant truly understand a woman. I always tell my friends "Heck, Im a woman and I cant understand women!" So I urge you not to be hard on your boyfriend when you are unhappy. If he knew how to make you happy, he would.

Still, nagging, scolding and criticizing him is NOT the way. You need to speak to him in a way that he understands. You need to communicate lovingly with him. Think about it: How often do you want to do something nice for someone whos mean to you? Fighting with a man only brings about more unhappiness. If you want to your boyfriend to adore you, youve got to understand more about men so you can communicate effectively with him.



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