You might have heard of the saying that it is not what you say, but how you say it; however, in failed relationships, getting the chance to say what you feel in person to get your ex back can be next to impossible.
This Simple Method Will Help You Avoid Desperation
Fortunately, you can now use the aid of technology to send your message across with the help of your mobile. In other words, you can use text messages. The benefit of using text messages effectively is that you will not look desperate in the eyes of your ex.
It Is Important To Plan What To Say
However, because a text message is quite limited, you have to plan carefully what to say. You can start the ball rolling by finding a good quote to let them know you are still interested in making things work. This is the easy part. The most challenging step is to actually sustain your communication with your ex to gain their affection and trust back. The following are tips of using a text message to get your ex back:
Paint A Picture In Their Mind
Remember that using a text message has the limitation of being devoid of emotions so you have to play your words right. Frame your message to sound cool and okay with the break up.
I know this seems counter-intuitive. However, this is a psychological tactic that works really well. And of course, by doing so, you are not showing any signs of desperation.
Know What Not To Send To Your Ex
To a certain extent, knowing what NOT to say is even more important than knowing exactly what to say. Why is that so?
Well, if you say the wrong things, you are going to push your ex away. For example, you dont want to send a text message saying how much you miss them. You dont want to tell your ex how miserable you are feeling.
Your ex will be able to see that you are desperate, which is what you are trying to avoid in the first place.
Do Not Put Your Ex In A Defensive Position
Avoid aggravating them. Never ever point out his part in ending your relationship as this will only bring them on a defensive mode; and you will not be able to state your case. You might even end up fighting because of bringing up their mistakes. Conversely, they might not be defensive but will fail to hear you out.
Never Sound Too Clingy or Too Needy
Dont sound very desperate as this can be grounds for them to take advantage of your situation should they decide to take you back. There is a difference between being sincere and despairing. Avoid statements such as "I would die if I dont get you back" or "You are the only man/woman I will love until I die, so please take me back."
Always Proofread
Remember to read your message thrice or more times before hitting the send button because you can never take it back. Be sure also to avoid double meanings and messages open for interpretation. You can also ask the opinion of your good friends of how your text message sounds as you might be too distracted emotionally to think straight.
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